projects are making me mentally and physically sick.. i have been thinking a lot for the past few days..
firstly, i think i studied too much for my Os already because i find that my mind is super duper dead. i cant come up with creative and new ideas easily. during brainstorming times, i feel super demoralized. i would hate myself for not being able to think "out of the box" and contribute new ideas to the group. i could only quietly listen to their ideas and think of ways to improve them. really feel disappointed with myself..
second would be stage-frights. i have still yet to overcome them. i have been having stage frights since long long time ago. during my secondary school days, my face would turn red super easily when teachers called me to just say out or to present my answers. i feel so stupid sia. lol. after i came to poly, i knew that i am gonna be dead cause i realized that presentations happen to us pretty often and we wont be able to avoid them for sure.. sometimes, before the start of my presentations, in order to comfort myself, i would reassure myself that there is nothing to be afraid about, standing and speaking in front of a class of 20-40 peeps. but in the end, i would still end up shivering like mad and getting tongue-tied as i continued to utter rubbish. what's worst, sometimes, i fear that with my lousy presentation skills, my group's overall performance will be pulled down. furthermore, my pronounciation is really bad.
but, on the other hand, i am really glad that i managed to make more friends in poly. i thought, with my sort of character, i wont be able to adapt to poly life easily. and true, initially, i couldnt really adapt to it. the type of people there and the way how things work are really different from my style. haha. but i am really thankful that i made those friends. otherwise, i would be super lonely in poly and my poly life would not have been fun.
i dont know why i am suddenly thinking of all those things.. perhaps i am starting to appreciate life more and more now and starts to reflect on my actions and stuffs. or perhaps i dint have enough sleep. -.-
enough of my rubbish. ron's event tml. hope everything goes well. gonna go slp liao. nite!
- you.
posted by kaylin. @ 11:51:00 pm
